Today, the Wednesday in holy week is traditionally known as spy Wednesday and the focus is on Judas Iscariot. As with the other nights this week I am starting tonight by using my imagination and trying to see what Judas may have been thinking
It wasn't supposed to end like this. When I first met him and heard him preach I thought he was surely the one. The next great Jewish leader. The one to overthrow the Roman oppressors. He was supposed to lead a great uprising. Kill the oppressors, drive them out. Make the Jewish people free again. I wanted to be part of that, to play my part in the glorious new government that would follow his victory. But then he just kept talking about forgiveness. But I truly thought when we came to Jerusalem he would take action. I thought when we gathered for that meal in the upper room, we would be planning the insurrection, the overthrow of the Roman oppressors, but no. I thought if things came to a head, if the temple authorities tried to stop him, then it would be a catalyst. The spark that would start the fire, the fire that would burn down the Romans and leave the Jewish people free. But then, even when Peter drew his sword, he told him to put it away. He let them arrest him without any resistance. I know now they mean to kill him, and I’ve helped them, how can I live with that, but why oh why won't he stand up and be the great leader we need, why allow himself to be killed, to kill all our hopes when he should be leading the fight.
Judas wanted Jesus to be something that he wasn't. The Jews had been living for years under Roman persecution and Judas believed the only way to change that was to physically fight back. The problem is that that is not God’s way. God sees things from a different perspective to us. He has an understanding of how things will pan out over the span of eternity. We are stuck in the here and now. We may often ask or even try to demand of God that he does something, the something that we think is the right thing to do, now. Like Judas we focus on our own understanding and what we think should happen for the best. We need to realise that God may, sometimes, know better. That things happen according to God's plan and time, not ours.
Judas is also focused on money and on what prestige he can gain from being in Christ's inner circle. This makes it hard for him to hear Christ's message of a different way of being. How often do we prioritise what we want over what God wants? Judas’ motivations for following Jesus isn’t always the right one. When our motives are more about seeking what we want, even if our actions look good, we are not following God. Once we start to make decisions for the wrong reasons, then we can start to lose sight of what is good and right. Evil can start to creep in to our hearts and minds and corrupt our thinking and our relationships. Our focus shifts to what is the right thing for me, what will benefit me the most, and not what does God want? If other people start to get hurt, they become collateral damage. This is not the way God wants us to be. God calls us to be a community, to make decisions for the common good not just our personal good. We can only do this if we have a good relationship with God, if we spend time in prayer where we don’t just issue a list of demands to God, please can you fix X,Y,Z now. We also need to allow time for stillness and to listen to what God may be saying to us. To accept that our way is not God’s way and sometimes we just have to trust that God has a plan, even if we don’t understand it.
Over the last three nights I have tried to explore the events of Holy week through the eyes of three different people involved. On Monday we learned from Mary that we should always aim to bring our best to God. On Tuesday from Simon Peter, we learned that we will probably all mess it up at some point, but because of the events of this week there is always forgiveness and redemption available. Tonight Judas has shown us the importance of seeking to understand God’s ways and recognise that they may not be the same as ours. Judas has also shown us the importance of ensuring that what we do, both in our worship and outside in the wider word is done for the glory of God and not ourselves. I hope that over the next few days as we journey to the cross and to the heart of God’s love we can also grow closer to God and stronger in our faith.